I happen to think butter is one of mankind’s greatest achievements, alongside the printing press and surgeons washing their hands. I have it on practically everything.  Granted, I probably have the arteries of a middle-aged Texan but to paraphrase Joy The Baker, who needs slim thighs when you can have Slightly Salted Lurpak on toasted squidgy malt loaf in the morning?

Unlike homemade bread, making butter from scratch isn’t cheaper, tastier or healthier than the stuff in the supermarket. But when I saw a recipe in the brilliant Bust DIY Guide To Life, I had to try my hand at it. Plus, it’s strangely rewarding. Making something basic like butter from scratch has a whiff of Little House On The Prairie which I can’t help but find appealing (hey, I never said I wasn’t a wanker).

And if I can make butter from scratch using an electric whisk with one attachment missing (our kitchen is where utensils go to die), then so the hell can you.

Simply tip a carton of double cream into a bowl and whisk until it starts to look like scrambled egg:

Yummers

Then whisk some more.

And more.

More.

Is it all starting to clump together with a watery liquid running off? Now you can stop whisking. Pour away the buttermilk, and if you want to get fancy save it for pancakes or banana bread. (If it’s more likely to fester in your fridge then just throw it down the sink now.)

Scoop your butter-to-be into a ball with a spatula and rinse under the cold tap until the water runs clear, pressing hard to get the last of the buttermilk out. Scoop it into a container and take a photo for the internet.

At this point you can mash in herbs and shit (I went for black pepper and torn basil) or you can leave it natural in the misguided assumption that it’s healthier.